Cannibal Possession: Heart of Ice (2012)

Have you ever read the story of another person's murder and concluded that you are, in fact, the main character in the whole thing? Me neither. The same cannot be said for Nathan David Carlson, however, a Wendigo researcher who believes, without evidence, that an interview he did for a newspaper may have inspired the 2008 killing of Tim McLean by the mentally ill Vincent Li. It turns out McLean's murder had some similarities to cases Carlson had encountered during his research, and he believes Li -- who delivered newspapers -- may have read his interview and chosen to commit a copycat killing. That this belief isn't worthy of a documentary seems evident enough to me, but Christian Tizya evidently felt differently. Thus: "Heart of Ice" (or "Cannibal Possession: Heart of Ice"), one of the more uniquely tasteless movies I've seen, albeit one with some interesting background of Native Canadian history besides its baffling true crime angle. I watched it thinking it was going to be a found footage-style mockumentary, having found it in the horror section of Tubi, but it turns out the true horror here is the ego and illogic of a man who needs no encouragement and isn't a particularly adept talking head either. More effective are the interviewees who pour cold water on Carlson's ideas about the McLean killing, although it's a shame the message never reached the director that maybe this whole thing was a bad idea.

Titanic 666 (2022)

A Tubi Original horror set aboard a ship named Titanic III that steers into the realm of supernatural horror at the site of the original Titanic's sinking, "Titanic 666" does about as much as you could rightly expect a movie to do with this concept and a limited budget, but can't quite escape mediocrity. The effects are cheap and cheesy, the acting performances run the gamut between camp and cringe, and the plot is paper thin. The movie is never painful, however, and mostly charms despite its glaring faults. The ghostly versions of the Titanic victims who return to claim more souls for the sea are actually quite coolly designed, even if the breathing effects they're saddled with never land. The deaths they cause aren't actually too bad (one where a woman gets unceremoniously squashed by a lifeboat had me laughing), though. Ultimately, the movie fails to justify itself as anything more than a lark since the characters aren't worth caring about and what little plot there is follows a predictable trajectory. With more money behind it, a stronger story and a better casting director, this might have been relatively good.

Up Against Amanda (2000)

Made with an amateurishness befitting its title and emitting a late-90s TV movie aesthetic that's actually kind of charming, "Up Against Amanda" is a pretty standard bunny boiler movie that, awful as it is, has a camp factor that makes it kinda fun. With hammy performances, ineptly staged fight and murder scenes, and a plot made of Swiss cheese, it tells the story of Amanda Lear's (Justine Priestley) journey from abused child to home-wrecking harlot with all the sensitivity and tastefulness you'd expect of the time and genre, while presenting the married man (David DeWitt) she cheats with then hungrily pursues as but a bumbling, ultimately decent guy who deserves to overcome her in the end. That's dubious enough, but the real bafflement comes from all the strange, continuity-defying scenes that crop up throughout the movie. At one point Amanda lures her former lover to a grave she has dug for him, strikes him in the head with a shovel and then... takes him into her house to be suffocated, before then returning him to the aforementioned flower patch grave. At another point Amanda listens in on a conversation between her crush and his wife (Karen Grosso, turning in the only good performance in the movie) and, upon learning that Richard has evidence linking her to her former lover's murder, seemingly teleports to Richard's house in order to cut the phone line before he reveals too much. And then there's that climactic scene with the car... But I digress! A bad, silly movie with nothing novel to say about its subject matter, but enjoyable in an ironic way.

Conjoined (2013)

What do you do if the woman you've become engaged to over the internet shows up at the airport with a non-identical twin sister attached to her at the mid-section? Well, if you're a nice guy like Stanley (Tom Long), you welcome her with open arms, tolerate her frenetic mood and try to have sex around her. And when said sister (Keefer Barlow) turns out to be a serial killer who especially likes offing men who are disrespectful about her and her conjoined twin (Michelle Ellen Jones), you stiffen that upper lip and help cover up the evidence.Of course, something's got to give, and before long you're conspiring with your fiancee and your creepy co-worker to separate the ladies in their sleep, at the risk of mortal peril.

"Conjoined" is a dumb, low-budget flick that plays its absurd material for laughs and, with its deliberately awkward and silly style, actually manages to get a few despite its general amateurishness. As with 2020's "The Devil's Familiar", its cast of victims turn to Spirit Halloween props once they're offed and dismembered by a scenery-chewing Keefer Barlow, and like many a movie about a female serial killer it makes sure we know that those guys kinda deserve it. This isn't a "Yas Queen" classic, however, and despite its passing similarities to the work of Frank Henenlotter and Jeremy Saulnier it simply doesn't have the talent behind it to fully work. I guess there are worse ways to spunk away 80 minutes, however.

Haunted Trail (2021)

A masked killer begins picking off teens during a Halloween trail night in "Haunted Trail", Robin Givens' fun, if unoriginal, slasher that takes a page out of the "Haunt"/"Hell Fest" playbook and manages to make it work reasonably well. It definitely helps that a mostly black cast does a good job of subverting the standard slasher character expectations, imbuing their parts with personality quirks and features that feel fresh despite the otherwise derivative material. Then there's the killer himself: a Michael Myers-esque madman with a cool mask design but an ultimately underwhelming (albeit kinda funny) motive. Before his unmasking, at least, the killer is great. There are flaws, however, chief of which is the relative lack of gore and spotty direction during various kill scenes that make it a little difficult to tell what's happening. The filmmakers are obviously working around a limited budget, though, so I guess it's alright. And kudos to them for creating an attraction within the movie that actually seems like it would be a cool live-action horror experience and isn't just a cobbled-together excuse for the movie's plot. Go into "Haunted Trail" with the usual low expectations you'd reserve for a Tubi horror flick and you might just be surprised by this fun little slasher.