Who needs true crime documentaries to shed light on real-life murders when you have shit-tier horror movies with excruciatingly bad actors as an alternative? Not me, hence why I watched "The Utah Cabin Murders", which adapts a 1990 double-homicide/kidnapping case with all the taste and delicacy you might expect from the director behind the "Robert the Doll" movies. Not that the movie is as crass and tasteless in its low-rent depiction of true horror as it could have been; it just does nothing to justify such an exploitative concept with its flat, drab direction, sermonising dialogue that sounds like it's been generated by cheap AI technology, and acting performances so wooden the cast may as well have been replaced by mannequins. By the end, I was practically betting for some extremity to be added to this bad, boring affair. Alas, that would have required some semblance of creativity, which these filmmakers do not have. I will give them credit for one thing, however: the scene where one of the skinny female protagonists one-punch KOs one of the baddies is hilarious.
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