With one of their number scheduled to marry a country guy they've never met, a bachelorette party arrives at a secluded cabin to down a few drinks and argue a bit before the knot is tied. Alas, the bride-to-be (Scout Taylor-Compton) sure knows how to pick them. Soon, her fiancee and his redneck friends crash the party, and they're so cartoonishly evil from moment one that you expect "Bury the Bride" to lurch into comedy territory without delay. Alas, the filmmakers really thought they were cooking up something serious here, so they cast the joke book aside and, even after it's revealed that the groom and his comrades are vampires acting out a ritual in which they kill and resurrect their betrothed (and dispatch their unfortunate friends), play it painfully straight. This ain't no "From Dusk till Dawn" and director Spider One (brother of the more talented Rob Zombie) ain't no Robert Rodriguez. For what it's worth, the film does have some decent performances courtesy of the female cast and there's an appropriate amount of gore for the story, but damned if isn't boring and unbelievably self-serious for what it is. Maybe if it took some risks and didn't follow the path of least resistance in its plotting, its humorlessness could be forgiven. Here we are, though.
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