The more I think about it, the more futile it seems to maintain a blogger page for movie reviews in this day and age when Letterboxd is right there: less hassle, less work, and probably more reliable. So consider this blog an archive, and if you like what you read check out my Letterboxd profile for more regular thoughts on film from yours truly. Also, I do okay on Twitter if horror content is your bag.

- evil

Apartment 7A (2024)

Hindsight truly becomes 20/20 once one has sat through a movie like "Apartment 7A". Reeling from the tedium this movie brings to the table, you think about how much better "Rosemary's Baby" was in every single way, and recognise that a prequel set in the same apartment building, which has the same villains (this time played by Dianne Wiest and Kevin McNally), and more-or-less the same plot, was doomed to failure. Everything in this movie is a shoddy substitute for something that was better in Roman Polanski's seminal classic, right down to main character Terry Gionoffrio (played by Julia Garner with a listlessness that can only be forgiven by Twitter hype merchants), who wants to be a big-time dancer but is hampered by injury and lack of opportunities until she moves into the same building as a kind elderly couple, beginning an uptick in luck that's blighted just a bit by an unwanted pregnancy.

You know where this is going, and it takes a dull route. Sure, we get people referencing interesting stuff that happened prior to the events of this movie, but the best writer-director Natalie Erika James and co-writers Christian White and Skylar James are willing to offer up are shopworn scares and moments of painfully downplayed menace. Like I already said, we know where this is going, so why not have fun with it? It's not like these filmmakers have Polanski's knack for suspense, so maybe go nuts a bit!

This is a boring movie with nothing going for it outside of its cinematography, and no reason to exist. Again, "Rosemary's Baby" is so much better. And if you want something that echoes that movie, give "American Horror Story: Delicate" a shot. That series at least had personality, a great leading actress, and a sense of what's actually horrific about pregnancy, fame and ambition. "Apartment 7A", on the other hand, is one of 2024's worst movies, made doubly terrible by having the audacity to associate itself with a classic.

Cuckoo (2024)

After moving to the German Alps with her blended family, troubled Gretchen (Hunter Schafer) soon learns her picturesque surroundings hide frightening, twisted secrets involving a seemingly murderous woman in Tilman Singer's "Cuckoo". Helped along by Hunter Schafer's powerhouse lead performance (assisted by Dan Stevens' wonderfully weird supporting turn as hotelier Herr Konig), the movie generally relies on mood and mystery, with a few strong moments of horror sprinkled throughout to make up for its slacker stretches, ultimately being worthwhile despite some frustrating developments in the resolution of a "mystery" it gives away just a little too early. Personally, I'd have liked to see it flaunt more overtly horror elements rather than take the (admittedly endearingly freaky) thriller route it settles on, but that's just me. What's truly great about this film is the performances of its cast - especially Schafer and Stevens - and it'd take a lot more flaws to make me dislike a movie where the acting goes this hard.

Child's Play 3 (1991)

Undoubtedly the lesser of the first four "Child's Play" movies, "Child's Play 3", which pulls off a little time skip to plant a now teenaged Andy Barclay (Justin Whalen) into a military academy where the revived Chucky (Brad Dourif) naturally tracks him down, is still a decent little slasher movie. Granted, it only gets to be that because of a couple of standout death scenes (hello trash compacter!) and a cool carnival-set finale, but we're talking early 90s slasher fare here. Justin Whalen is pretty wooden as Andy, outshined by Perrey Reeves as spunky final girl Kristen and Travis Fine as secondary antagonist Lieutenant Colonel Shelton, and although Brad Dourif excellently voices Chucky once again, the material he's given here is a downgrade from the previous year's "Child's Play 2." Mostly this is a military school teen drama that accommodates its killer doll aspects in fun, if occasionally awkward ways en route to that great finale where Chucky has a messy encounter with an industrial fan. Sure, it could have been a whole lot better with a stronger lead and a more accomplished director, but it does the basics of what a "Child's Play" movie ought to do, and just about earns a passing grade.

Winnie-the-Pooh: Blood and Honey 2 (2024)

2023's "Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey" was bullshit; a fact tacitly acknowledged by "Winnie-the-Pooh: Blood and Honey 2" when it downgrades its predecessor to movie-within-a-movie status and does a soft reset of the story of Christopher Robin (now played by Scott Chambers) and the anthropomorphic killer critters inspired by his earlier abandonment of them. This time Pooh (Ryan Oliva) and Piglet (Eddy MacKenzie) have company in the form of Owl (Marcus Massey), who becomes their de facto leader in their murderous quest for revenge against their former friend. No longer moving in slow motion and backed up by a sturdier script than the first movie had, Pooh and friends set out on a bloodier and better killing spree in what is essentially the first entry into Jagged Edge Productions' so-called "Poohniverse" franchise.

Pitched somewhere between "The Mean One" and "Terrifier", Rhys Frake-Waterfield's sequel surpasses its predecessor in every metric, which isn't to say it does anything special with its bloodthirsty versions of beloved A.A. Milne characters. What it does do is provide gleefully gory kill after kill, an actual plot that logically centers Christopher Robin, and much higher production values than survivors of the abortive 2023 movie might expect. Most refreshingly, the action isn't slowed down to a snail's pace like it was in the first movie; now that the cast and crew have an actual story to work with, there's little need to pad out its slim 93 minute runtime by having characters move in slow-motion or endlessly shamble around sets. There's an energy and structure to this movie that's very welcome.

But is it ultimately a good movie? Not really. Because while the splatfest kills and Scott Chambers' leading performance go a long way towards winning back some good will, the movie slackens between its killer set pieces, lacks substantial characters, and feels like it's once again jumped the shark by the time Pooh and co. are dropping one-liners in which they call their victims "bitch" like they're Freddy Krueger or something. When the "Terrifier" films exist, "Winnie-the-Pooh: Blood and Honey 2" is intermittently entertaining (especially in a rave party sequence that sees Tigger viciously taking out a bunch of people) but redundant. Of course, even that seems miraculous after the disaster that "Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey" was, but it doesn't quite make this new version good in its own right. Really, it's mediocre.

Old Man (2022)

"Old Man" is psychological horror as a two-man show, in which Stephen Lang takes the lead as the titular senior, who takes Mac Senter's Joe hostage when the latter makes the unwise decision to knock on the door of his cabin. What follows is a chamber piece of a movie in which Lang's clearly unstable character interrogates and menaces Senter's over the course of the runtime, although Joel Veach's script not so subtly hints that Senter himself may be harboring his own dark secrets.

Directed by Lucky McKee with less style than he usually brings to the table, "Old Man" is a limited but relatively engrossing flick that keeps you invested even after it reveals its underwhelming hand in a final act that brings together the stories of Old Man and Joe in a bloody but unspectacular way. In a way it has the vibe of a Stephen King short story adaptation, and boasts some of the shortcomings you might expect of a movie like that too.

Made six years after "Don't Breathe" (and a year after the awful "Don't Breathe 2"), the movie may be a little uninspired for having Stephen Lang play Old Man, but there's no denying that he plays the role. Indeed, he carries the movie over its hurdles and keeps it interesting when a lesser actor might have gotten lost in the material. As his co-lead, Marc Senter is given less to work with and can't really compare to Lang's performance, but I guess he does okay. Ultimately, Lang and Senter don't form the powerhouse double act that Willem Dafoe and Robert Pattinson did in "The Lighthouse", although I do prefer "Old Man" to that film. It's a bit conventional and predictable, but it has just enough to get a passing grade. You won't be blown away by this lesser McKee entry, but it's not a bad way to spend 97 minutes.