A group of teens have more than hangovers to worry about when they wake up the morning after a spring break party to find that a tentacled creature lurks just below the surface of the beach, ready and able to consume all of them. "The Sand" sounds like the kind of concept that could work in the hands of a director that knows how to work within the kind of budgetary constraints that this movie clearly has. Alas, this is Isaac Gabaeff's first and only feature film, and it doesn't take long to figure out why. A mess of bad acting, cheesy set-pieces and cheap special effects that feels like it could have been written in the kind of drunken haze that its characters experienced the night before, "The Sand" is about fifty times as dumb as it is fun. Even Jamie Kennedy, phoning it in for a cameo he can't have been paid handsomely for, does little to improve a D.O.A. movie that's only one or two notches above the average Asylum venture. Like "Cocaine Shark", it's best enjoyed when you're under the influence of mind-altering substances.
The more I think about it, the more futile it seems to maintain a blogger page for movie reviews in this day and age when Letterboxd is ri...
-
In the sleepy mountain town of Newville, little Cindy watches in horror as her mother falls victim to a green monster in a Santa costume. Sk...
-
After finding a scene of carnage and following its trail to a home where a demon-infected man lays on the precipice of death, a pair of brot...
-
Infamous for its grim scenes of rape and murder, as well as its director's unconvincing abuse of the exploitation genre's "PSA&...