Working at the behest of a cancer-stricken billionaire (played with surprising gusto by John Rhys-Davies), a pharmaceutical lab produces an anaconda with final boss energy in "Anaconda 3: Offspring", although the viewer could be forgiven for seeing it as a massive visual downgrade on the previous entries into the series. Complete with hilariously unconvincing CGI, a threadbare story that just barely justifies the action, and eyebrow-raising casting such as David Hasselhoff as a mercenary essentially filling the Jon Voight/turncoat role, B-movie merchant Don E. FauntLeRoy's sequel lurches into silly territory from the jump and never looks back. Yet it's not without its moments of ironic fun, which usually come with the razor-tailed anaconda's various kills of its hapless human prey, although there's a side of one-liners ("Happy trails, slimy bitch!") that anticipate the later "Texas Chainsaw 3D" and "Jeepers Creepers: Reborn" in an amusing way. I also had to smile at the movie's attempt to have Crystal Allen join the prestigious white tanktop club (sorry Crystal, but Jessica Biel and Eliza Dushku are just built different). Overall, this is a pretty terrible movie with fleeting points of interest.
Immaculate (2024)
Following young American nun Cecilia (Sydney Sweeney) as she starts her new life in a remote Italian convent, only to discover that her new ...
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In the sleepy mountain town of Newville, little Cindy watches in horror as her mother falls victim to a green monster in a Santa costume. Sk...
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After finding a scene of carnage and following its trail to a home where a demon-infected man lays on the precipice of death, a pair of brot...
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Another entry into the "fuck them kids" canon, "Run Rabbit Run" sees a mother (Sarah Snook) gradually disintegrating whe...