Ouija Shark (2020)

These days there's an endless supply of independent horror movies made with but a dollar and a dream, yet when it comes to the many shark movies floating about, it's less "dream" than title that takes precedence. Enter "Ouija Shark", in which director Brett Kelly and a ragtag band of no-name actors loosely improvise a story around a title they never had any realistic hope of living up to. I won't bore you with the irrelevant details of what could debatably be called the movie's plot, but it's something about a ouija board linked to animal spirits conjuring up what looks to be a super-imposed hand puppet of a shark, which kills a bunch of people off before the movie lazily ambles into an ending featuring an impression of Donald Trump that lives up to the standards of everything preceding it. Like "Cocaine Shark", it's never entertaining, even in a so-bad-it's-good way.

Nefarious (2023)

When the day of convicted killer Edward Wayne Brady (Sean Patrick Flanery) arrives, psychiatrist James Martin (Jordan Belfi) is drafted in to assess his mental fitness for execution. This is complicated somewhat by Edward's claims to be a demon, which aren't exactly the sanest claims to make, except that he's on a course to convince Dr. Martin of their truth, inspire him to commit three murders, and continue to perpetuate an ageless evil on Earth.

If all that sounds promising, I regret to inform you that "Nefarious" is, in fact, Christian propaganda masquerading as a thriller, in which the definition of murder is stretched according to rightist philosophy and actual elements of cinematic horror are in short supply. Sean Patrick Flanery acts up a storm as the pro-life demon occupying a man's body in service of the filmmakers' biases while Jordan Belfi sits there looking dumb and swallowing every lame talking point his verbose foe drops on him. If you're a fan of heavy-handed right wing sermonizing and solemn Glenn Beck cameos (of all things), you'll probably love it. The uninitiated -- or anyone looking for an actual good movie -- should avoid it like the plague, however.

In the Fire (2023)

It's the 1890s and lady doctor Amber Heard heads to a remote plantation where she's tasked with protecting a gifted child from superstitious townsfolk who hold him and the devil responsible for the death and famine afflicting their community. There's a limp attempt at a science vs. religion debate before she's whipped, and it becomes clear that her ordeal is more likely to be resolved by her survival instincts than expertise. "In the Fire" is quite perfunctory in that sense, but it's also quite beautifully shot, and Heard's performance in the lead role is excellent enough that it's not too much of a chore to spend time with a character so hapless, who only gradually realises that the kid in her charge might be of the Damien variety after all. Throw in some well done death scenes and a mob climax that deliberately recalls "Frankenstein" and this isn't a bad way to kill 87 minutes, even with its lack of surprises.

The Craft: Legacy (2020)

Nothing will ever make 2019's "Black Christmas" or 2023's "The Exorcist: Believer" good, but if defenders of those movies have any brains, they'll remember to point to this as an even more egregious example of bastardized name recognition bullshit in cinematic form. Even David Gordon Green didn't disrespect Ellen Burstyn the way this movie insults Fairuza Balk. None of which is to say that Neve Campbell, Rachel True and Robin Tunney are entirely spared by this movie, since associating 1996's "The Craft" or its characters with the personality vacuum kids and all-around tone deafness of this movie is itself an insult. You will believe a woman's relationship with a blatantly evil bad guy played by David Duchovny and the ensuing battle (if you could call it that) between him and her daughter (Cailee Spaney) is the most boring foundation for a movie about witches ever, but you probably won't believe what an afterthought witchiness and personality are to a movie literally piggybacking off of "The (FUCKING) Craft". Don't bother with this abortion and just rewatch the original instead. Forget this even exists.

August Underground (2001)

The term 'torture porn' is one of the more abused and unfair descriptions of violent horror movies, but there are times when it is apt. Enter "August Underground", a found footage-style horror movie following a pair of chucklehead serial killers as they engage in a series of violent acts, which include the physical and psychological torture of a bound woman, the murder of a hitchhiker, and a sexually charged grocery store attack. It's a gratuitous and ultimately pointless exercise that seems to revel in the gross exploits of its depraved characters a little too much, although that does tend to make it about as uncomfortable as a movie like this ought to be, considering the themes. This is essentially a version of 2011's "Found Footage" where the violence and puerility is cranked up but any sense of an arc or plot falls by the wayside. And unlike that underrated movie, "August Underground" finds a way to be boring, especially during the way-too-long sequence featuring the killers and a pair of sex workers that leads into an abrupt and unsatisfying ending. This movie is a grim curiosity and little else.